After my mom made the difficult decision to leave the life we were living, we didn’t immediately find stability.
We moved from place to place—women’s shelters, interval houses, and temporary spaces in cities like Saskatoon and Prince Albert. My mother had taken us out of an unhealthy environment, but she had nowhere permanent to go with four children.
Those were uncertain days.
We didn’t have a home.
But eventually someone stepped in.
My kokum—my grandmother—opened her door to us.
And that moment changed everything.
A Living Room That Became Our World
We packed up our belongings once again and moved to Sweetgrass First Nation near Battleford to live with my kokum.
Her home wasn’t big.
My mom slept on the couch.
The rest of us slept on the floor.
Every morning we rolled up our bedding and stacked it away so the living room could become our play area again.
Looking back now, that living room wasn’t just where we slept and played.
It became my classroom for life.
Because my kokum was more than a grandmother.
She was my teacher.
The Lesson of Getting Along
One of the teachings she repeated often was simple but powerful:
“Try to get along with each other.”
She emphasized working together. Helping one another. Respecting each other regardless of where we came from or what we looked like.
To her, status didn’t matter.
Background didn’t matter.
At the end of the day, we were all human beings.
That lesson became especially important when I started getting bullied at school.
I was a tiny kid.
And like many kids who are picked on, eventually I wanted to fight back.
I went to my kokum and said, “Why can’t I fight them? I need to stand up for myself.”
She told me to try to resolve it peacefully.
To stay away from conflict.
But I was stubborn.
I kept asking why.
The Teaching That Changed My Perspective
Finally, my kokum gave me an answer I will never forget.
She said:
“You don’t know their story.”
You don’t know what that person’s life is like.
You don’t know if they have parents at home.
You don’t know who is guiding them.
You don’t know what struggles they might be carrying.
Then she said something that hit me deeply.
She said:
“There’s no such thing as winning an argument.”
And she asked me a question that completely changed how I thought about conflict.
“What if you fight with that person today… and something happens to them tonight? What if that was their last day on earth? How would you feel when you came back to school tomorrow?”
I had never thought about it that way before.
Understanding Our Limited Time
That moment taught me something profound.
We are all on limited time.
We only have so many mornings.
So many nights.
So many days together on this earth.
So the question becomes:
How are we going to use that time?
What kind of legacy are we planting?
What kind of roots are we leaving behind for others?
Learning Respect Through Ceremony
Living with my kokum also introduced me to ceremony and cultural teachings.
She would take us to gatherings where elders prayed and shared wisdom.
As children, we were taught something very specific during those moments:
We didn’t speak.
We didn’t stare at the elders.
We listened.
We showed respect by bowing our heads and giving our full attention.
Later in life, I realized that sometimes these cultural practices are misunderstood.
In many Indigenous traditions, respect is shown through listening and humility, not through constant eye contact.
Different cultures express respect in different ways.
That’s why understanding one another’s stories is so important.
You can’t assume everyone was raised the same way.
You have to take the time to learn.
The Foundation of Partnerships
Those early teachings from my kokum shaped how I see leadership and partnership today.
True partnerships don’t come from assumptions.
They come from understanding.
From listening.
From recognizing the humanity in one another.
Whether we’re building businesses, communities, or organizations, the foundation is the same:
Helping each other. Working together.
The Power of Mindset
By the time I reached Grade 3, my mom had managed to get us into a small two-bedroom home nearby.
Around that time, she began encouraging me to seek guidance from my uncle, who was a respected cultural leader in our community—a pipe carrier and Sundance leader.
Before visiting him, my mom would have me offer tobacco, a traditional way of showing respect and gratitude when asking for knowledge.
I would sit with him and ask questions.
One teaching he shared with me has stayed with me my entire life:
Protect your mindset.
Be careful who you listen to.
Be careful what voices you allow into your mind.
Today, in a world filled with constant scrolling and social media feeds, that lesson is more important than ever.
We’re often living life through someone else’s highlight reel.
But the truth is:
You must take control of your own mind.
If you don’t, someone else will.
Final Thought
The lessons I share today—about leadership, resilience, and community—didn’t come from textbooks.
They came from a living room floor.
From a grandmother who believed in teaching through example.
From a family that survived difficult moments by leaning on culture, respect, and one another.
Those teachings shaped the path I walk today.
And they continue to guide how I serve others.
Because at the end of the day, everything comes back to one simple truth my kokum shared with me long ago:
Try to get along with each other.
It’s where leadership begins.
hiy hiy
