The Power of Positive Communication
Growing up, my grandmother would often say, “You don’t know if that’s the last time you’re going to see that person.” Her words stuck with me and continue to shape my approach to communication. This lesson is particularly important for leaders who work with people every day.
As leaders, we have countless opportunities to use our words to uplift others. While constructive criticism is sometimes necessary, delivering it positively can make a significant difference. The key lies in how we phrase our feedback — especially when we’re tempted to use the word “but.”
The Impact of “But”
I remember learning from experienced speakers that the word “but” can unintentionally diminish the positive message that came before it. For example:
“Hey Jeff, you did a really good job today, but I really hope you can work on this next time.”
While the intention may be helpful, the word “but” often overshadows the praise, making it feel like the positive feedback doesn’t matter. It creates a sense that the focus is only on what went wrong.
The Power of “And”
Now consider this alternative:
“Hey Jeff, you did a really good job today, and maybe next time we can also add this to your presentation.”
Notice the difference? By using “and,” you reinforce the positive message while gently encouraging improvement. The suggestion feels like an opportunity for growth rather than a correction.
Why It Matters
This subtle shift can have a profound impact. People are more receptive to feedback when they feel appreciated and supported. By replacing “but” with “and,” you create an environment that encourages learning and teamwork without discouragement.
Applying This in Leadership
Whether you’re guiding a team, mentoring a colleague, or even offering advice to friends and family, being mindful of your language can build stronger relationships and inspire positive change.
Next time you find yourself about to say “but,” pause and consider how “and” might better serve the conversation. A small change in words can create a big difference in how your message is received.
hiy hiy
