Kendal's Blog

Is Who I’m Coming in Contact with Going to Help Me Get to My Goals?

When you’re chosen to lead, there’s also a great responsibility that you’re going to have to hold yourself to a higher standard.

You have to watch how you conduct yourself in rooms like this. Outside of the rooms like this, online, social media, behind the scenes. You have to watch the conversation. I want to give you a piece of advice. Always imagine there’s someone recording everything that you’re speaking about, like my guy right here who’s taking a photo of me. Imagine he’s following me every step of the way, every conversation, what would your conversations be like if you had to be truthful and meaningful and polite all the time?

It’s going to do something to your energy and your mindset. And the people that come into your life are going to feel that. I’ll give you one example. So in this world, I talked about, very much different from how I’m speaking here right now with you in this other world, the mainstream, I call it. Where I come from, I didn’t know I was being conditioned to be a sponge most of my life. So by being in a lineup like when we came in today, or waiting on the airplanes, coming to travel, I listen to all the conversations all the time, and I’m learning all the time. Continually being a knowledge seeker because you don’t know if the person you’re sitting beside is going to help solve something you’re working on in the back of your mind.
But if we act like we know it all, we’re going to miss those teachings in our life. We’re going to miss those people that will come into our life that are blessed to be there, but our mind isn’t there to understand and recognize that. I’m the oldest in my family. I have three younger sisters, and if you were to look at all the different things that happen, some of you have read my book, Driven to Succeed.

Some of you I’ve spoken for before. I’ve talked about the journey more in detail in different keynotes. And as I’ve spoken to that, I’ve made it very clear that I probably shouldn’t statistically be here with you up here on this stage. My ancestors went through a lot of stuff. We’re starting to understand that in the last two and a half years, especially with the uncovering of those graves, we’re now over 10,000 bodies found.

That’s a hard fact to look at. These are stuff that happened in our country. We can’t walk around acting like we’re perfect when things happen in their past, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be in a position to correct it for the future with the decisions that we make.

My mother did the best she could with what she had. In our municipalities, you do the best with what you have right in front of you. My mom single parented us, took us out of an abusive home, and that meant she had to sacrifice for us. She was the lead in our family. She had to sacrifice taking us out of that environment.

If we peel back the layers on this, I’ll give you a bird’s eye view into our world. My mother’s mom hid from the residential school system by hiding in the bushes. My mother’s dad went to the residential school, passed away before he was 50, had a lot of things that didn’t go right for him. I don’t know his story, but here’s what I know.

Individuals, what they’re taught when they’re children really impacts who they become as they become adults. No one chooses to live on the street. No one chooses addictions. They get conditioned to accept that, and that’s becomes their identity and they live that. So my mom was blessed to have two parents. Go back a different generation, my great-grandfather, my great-grandmother, they had the rebellion here in North Battleford area, and a lot of the leaders got hung at North Battleford.

My great-grandfather during this time, he had to flee. His mother and father had to flee to the US. And little by little, they kept coming back to try to retain the culture, the language, the ceremonies, the teaching moments.

My mother met my father both had a very troubled background. They had to try healing. They both came from intergenerational trauma. So when my dad was, I would say, leading a very unhealthy life, my mom had to make a decision, she had to separate. With that meant that we’re going to have no more dad in our house.
A really important figure. If you’re lucky to have two parents, that’s a true blessing. So I want you to put yourself in other people’s shoes now because it’s important to do that. When you’re in a leader position, you have to understand that how you’re raised is not going to be the same as someone else. If someone’s struggling, there’s a reason they’re struggling.

If a town, a city is struggling, there’s a reason and root of where that stems from, and we have to confront the root in order to plant new seeds, in order to work onto what’s next and what’s possible for all of us. But we can’t walk around and act like things are perfect when we have these things we have to correct.

It’s the same thing as us in this room. You’ve been chosen to lead. There’s a good chance as you’re chosen to lead, you’ve had to overcome some great obstacles in your life. These obstacles paved the path for you to be here. You’ve had to do things that were very uncomfortable. You had to go and shake hands and get up and do speeches.

Maybe that’s uncomfortable for you. You’ve had to put lots of miles on the road talking to people, networking. All this part is part of your foundation, and if there’s cracks in the foundation, you can only go so high before it crumbles. You look at any building that’s structurally sound out there, they’re always looking at that foundation. Same thing as you and I.

We can only go as far as our foundation allows us to, and adding layers upon layers is the things that we learn, what we can control going into our mind, the people that we come in contact with. It’s important that we’re always doing our best to work and listened with positive like-minded people, people that nurture our mind, our spirit, our body.

And then there’s people who come into our path. Sometimes we have no choice but to come in contact with them. People who are very negative, people that don’t want the best for you. Maybe there are keyboard warriors behind the scenes. I don’t know. We all know people like that. But there’s people that will come and try to take you off that path, but we can learn from that. We can grow from that. They used to say, growing up in this world, they used to say, “Kendall, I want you to imagine your life down this long road. You’re starting at the beginning of this line. At this line is when you’ve been put, you are born. Every step you take is time on your lifeline.”

As you’re walking down that path, it’s not going to be straight and clear. You’re going to have obstacles. People will come into your life that will test you, that will challenge you. You’ll have people in your life that will come to help you, give you aid, give you encouragement, pray for you, give you blessings in disguise of problems sometimes. And as you’re taking steps, there will be things that will happen to us as a society. Blessings, problems. We went through it through the pandemic. We were shaken up, but that doesn’t mean that there might not be future opportunities that we can learn from. We learned how to work virtually together. We learned how to value the communication skills that are most valuable to us.

Sitting behind the screen wasn’t fun. Getting in a room like this, talking to your buddies, your friends, that’s what matters. Making time for your children, your loved ones. Other things they used to say to me is, “Kendall, you got to make sure that part of your foundation, if you want to be successful, it starts at home.” I used to wonder what that meant.

I was like, “What do you mean? It starts at home?” Well, if you have children, that’s your duty at home. If you have a spouse that’s your duty at home. You do everything you can to protect that bubble. When you’re happy at home, when it’s all flowing at home, when you go out there and you’re serving your communities, you tend to be more happier doing that.

When you’re having a challenge at home, you carry that into your workplace unknowingly through the energy, through your communication. So we must always make time for where it matters most. It’s part of our foundation, who we live with, who we associate with. And I always encourage people to ask themselves this question. Anytime you come in contact with someone new that wants to be a part of your inner circle, anytime you get an opportunity, an email, a phone call, ask yourself this one question.

I would write this down and put it on your notebook and keep it in front of your desk on your phone, “Is what’s being presented to me right now going to help me to get to my goals? Yes or no? Is who I’m coming in contact going to help me get to my goals? Yes or no?” If it’s going to take away, it’s an easy answer for you.

If it’s going to take away from your family, it’s an easy answer to say no, and it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not be a people pleaser.

it’s crucial to consistently make time for what matters most.

Our foundation is built on the relationships we foster, the people we surround ourselves with, and the choices we make in our personal and professional spheres.

Today, I want to share a simple yet profound question that has the potential to shape the trajectory of your journey towards success.

So, let’s ask ourselves this question: Anytime you come in contact with someone new who seeks to be a part of your inner circle, or whenever an opportunity arises—whether through an email, a phone call, or a new connection—pause and reflect.

Ask yourself, “Is what’s being presented to me right now going to help me get to my goals? Yes or no? Is this person or opportunity aligning with my aspirations?”

I encourage you to jot down this question, put it on your notebook, keep it in front of your desk, or save it on your phone.

Make it a constant reminder, a compass that guides your decision-making process.

This simple question has the power to be a game-changer in your personal and professional life.

Consider the connections you cultivate—those individuals who become a part of your inner circle.

They play a significant role in shaping your journey. Are these connections aligned with your goals?

Will they propel you forward, provide support, and contribute positively to your growth?

If the answer is yes, you’ve found a valuable addition to your network.

If it’s a no, it’s equally important to recognize that.

We often underestimate the impact of the company we keep.

Our associations influence our mindset, opportunities, and the direction we take in our careers and personal lives.

Being intentional about who we allow into our inner circle is not about exclusivity; it’s about aligning with those who share our values, ambitions, and drive for success.

Now, let’s talk about opportunities that knock on your door.

Every email, phone call, or chance encounter is a potential pathway to your goals.

Before diving in, ask yourself the crucial question: “Is what’s being presented to me right now going to help me get to my goals? Yes or no?” Your time is precious, and being discerning about the opportunities you pursue ensures that each endeavor contributes to your overarching success.

Sometimes, saying no is the most empowering choice you can make.

If an opportunity or connection is going to take away from your family, your well-being, or your ultimate goals, it’s an easy answer to decline. It’s okay to prioritize your personal and professional aspirations over fleeting engagements.

Remember, saying no is not a sign of weakness; it’s a demonstration of clarity, focus, and self-respect.

In a world that often glorifies being a people pleaser, it’s important to break free from that mold.

It’s okay not to say yes to everything.

By prioritizing your goals and being intentional about your inner circle, you are not only safeguarding your time but also ensuring that every connection and opportunity aligns with the vision you have for yourself.

So, as you navigate the intricacies of your personal and professional life, remember the power of this simple question. “Is what’s being presented to me right now going to help me get to my goals? Yes or no?”

Let this be your guiding principle, a tool for making decisions that align with your aspirations and lead you towards success.

Here’s to intentional choices, meaningful connections, and the unwavering pursuit of your goals.


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